JealousGod216

I have lately wrestled with the value of my own life, that is not to say that I wish it to end, that is to say, I wonder what was the point? I know this is born from frustration, anger, jealously, self loathing, and occasional over exposure to toxic internet sources. "Real writers" is a conversation that eats at my brain virtually every day, and from there I am robbed a little more of my value. You see, I have a 13th book coming out in November, but there are those who would argue, that because I have no agent, and no publishing house, that I am not a real writer. That my efforts to share stories with the world, are robbing the deserved and learned of their rightful place in the pantheon of great writers. I often wrestle with the idea of just giving up, putting my writing together, and just writing as an outlet, leaving it unpublished, unread, unworthy. But I often feel that were I to do that, I would be giving the toxic minority a say in my wellbeing, and that is something I...

I worked a fair bit on my project tentatively titled 'Raven' today, tidying a little of Yesterdays 1,844 words, and adding another 1,389. I recently decided that any amount of writing is sufficient for a day, so I stick to what I am able to do without effort, then refocus on other things. Today, I am learning to do other things, and expand my reach - let's start with the thing I am learning. So I have decided to learn how to do pixel art - don't ask why, I am not entirely sure why either, it just seems like a fun little thing to do, so I made a pixel campfire, it looks like crap, but I made it and it is mine. I think that is one of the things I have come to learn of late, you really are limited only by your patience. I have seen so many posts that are blatantly AI, and the people posting them are so pleased with themselves, it is kind of sad to be honest. That all being said, back to my day. So after writing, and making a pixel campfire, and having some lunch (lamb and ...

 I have decided to try and be the change I want to see in others, where I currently see toxicity, I want to be kindness, where I see anger and bigotry, I want to be kindness and acceptance. I know it sounds corny, but it is true, sure I get angry about things, but they feel like sane and justifiable things, like how mad it makes me that people treat other human beings as 'less than' because of gender/race/religion/sexuality, we are all the same, yet there are those who call wanting that equality 'woke' - as if equality is some kind of perverse need. people are more mad at others on line asking for equality, than they are that children are dying in warzones! how does that make any sense? so like I say, I often feel my frustration with the world at large is justifiable, but all that said, I cannot shake the feeling that to beat the loud and angry, you have to be one of them - certainly feels that way at times. Today was not a good day for me, mentally, I really struggled ...